The woman I’m seeing and I recently had a discussion about whether or not we were in a committed relationship. It started with me being upset that she wasn’t at the point where she could be in one and ended with us deciding to be non-exclusive. What it came down to was that we both care about each other a lot, but as much as I hate to admit it, we both aren’t ready to settle down. We want to be able to concentrate on ourselves and grow from future experiences – wherever those experiences lead us. We’ve both expressed that this scares us and that we’ll probably get jealous – but we know it’s the best way to be with each other without fully committing and losing ourselves in the process, as we’ve expressed that we tend to do in relationships.
Because we’re both so similar, we say that sometimes it feels like we’re dating the same person. We’re both used to dating takers, and because of that we’re at the point in our lives where we need time to grow by ourselves. But because we want each other in our lives, we’ve decided on being open with each other about what happens down the road. We aren’t looking for anyone else, and we don’t want to hurt the other person, but it feels good to know that the pressure is off In case anything happens. This might seem like a recipe for disaster, but I’ve never met someone who is so easy to communicate with. Even though jealousy is occasionally prominent between us, it doesn’t last long because of our late night discussions. If something is bothering me, I know I can simply ask her and receive a straight forward answer, as opposed to past relationships where things would blow out of proportion because my partner was typically reactive instead of understanding.
Deciding to be non-exclusive couldn’t have come at a better time. Recently we discussed my feelings for wanting to see what being with a man is like again after being with a woman for the first time. She’s expressed in the past that she didn’t realize she was a lesbian until she went back a couple times and tried to have sex with men, and it’s given me a lot to think about. After talking about it, she said she didn’t want to stand in the way of my needs to grow, and that I’ll also probably want to see what it’s like being with other women too. While I don’t want to hurt her, I can’t argue that I’ll think about being with other people in the future – men and women. It’s natural to think about being with others even when you’re in a relationship, and although I could stifle the feelings because I want to be with her, I told her it would be too difficult for me to be exclusive if we’re not technically together and that it would be the best way for me to not put pressure on her. I don’t like thinking of her being with someone else either, but I guess it comes with the package.
So despite how much you like someone and know that being non-exclusive is right for your relationship, how can you get over feelings of jealousy?
So far I’ve only been in this situation with people I saw casually or people who were cheating on their girlfriends with me. Therefore I wasn’t close enough to them to be able to feel very jealous that they were with someone else. But this woman and I text constantly and see each other often. So with the experience I have so far, these are the only ways I can for-see having the same type of relationship we have now while being non-exclusive and working through jealousy. Maybe they’ll help you if you’re in the same situation.
If you’re focused on yourself you won’t be constantly wondering what the other person’s doing with their life and who they’re meeting in it. Of course it’s healthy to be curious, but the idea of having a non-exclusive relationship is that you concentrate on your life and what you need from it. When you work to take time out of your busy schedule to see your partner, you’ll be more excited to spend time with them and update them on all the cool things you’ve been doing rather than wondering who they might have been spending their time with other than you. And remember, they’ll be just as excited to see you too because they’ll be thinking the same thing.
In order to feel connected to someone, you need to literally be connected to them. Text, send photos, like each other’s Facebook posts, etc. People tend to get scared when they don’t feel the other person’s presence, which usually makes them retreat more because they want to feel like they have the upper hand. If you both work at making each other know that the relationship with one another is important in your lives, you’ll feel a lot less jealous if they’re spending time with someone else. Also, keep the other in the know when it comes to dating or having sex with anyone new. While it’ll probably be difficult to talk about at first, they have a right to know about any potential STIs they might be in contact with. If you’re seeing someone else, get tested often and/or use protection.
Keep Out Little Details
Although communication is key to keeping a non-exclusive relationship alive, and while you may be comfortable discussing intimate details about each other’s dating lives without excessive jealousy, you don’t need to share EVERYTHING. You know how when you’re in a relationship and you tend to talk about each other’s past dating/sex lives and you feel both intrigued and disgusted? It’s like that but real-time. Feel out what the other person can handle. This might involve potentially hurting each other before you both learn what they can hear. Nobody wants to be lied to, but nobody wants to know that the other person made you cum better than they did. Unless the idea of competition drives their libido.
Do you have any tips for controlling jealousy in a non-exclusive relationship? In the meantime, check back every Wednesday to see how things are going on my end.
When I started having sex with guys, I never thought about studying the way they ate me out, thinking I would need to know this stuff when I was doing it to another woman someday. But here I am, 24 years old, dating a woman seriously for the first time. I mean, technically I don’t need to do anything – but I like my sexual partners to go down on me, so it’s only common courtesy I do it back. Plus, pleasing someone turns me on. I may be strongly submissive in bed, but I’ve never been the type of person to not want to return the favour. And while I can’t complain in the sex department on her end, and I think I’m doing alright so far on mine, eventually I’m going to need to venture down to the land of vaginas (rather: vagina) and figure that shit out. Because just because I have a vagina and a tongue doesn’t mean I have any clue how to put the two together.
I recently wrote an article titled How to Give Great Oral Sex for my magazine because I was the only one who wanted to do it. It was for both women who sleep with women and women who sleep with men, and while I have more experience in the latter, I asked the woman I’m dating for advice. At first she was shy, saying she’s not experienced herself – although I would argue to differ – and then the tips came pouring in through my phone like a lesbian handbook godsend. While I’m told there are books to read, lesbian porn to watch (the real kind where those in the porn are attracted to women) and an abundance of tips on the internet that are probably half wrong, I’m going to share with you what she, a real life lesbian, has told me in case you’re wondering how the hell to eat out a woman as well – or maybe you’re just looking for tips to become better at it. Basically, here are the main points:
-Tease around the area before getting to the good stuff
-Use different tongue consistencies: Flat and soft to hard and direct
-Gentle sucking, especially over the underwear, is hot
-Don’t over stimulate. It’s almost impossible to get off with a raw clit
-Don’t be so gentle they fall asleep
-Use your fingers to penetrate, if they like that
-Use some eye contact to see their reaction but staring is creepy
-For the love of god, don’t stop
This would probably be a better article if I actually had experience going down on a woman and I could give you real life advice. But then you wouldn’t be able to look forward to an article in the future about my first time doing it or how to do it well when I get the hang of it. As well, then I couldn’t ask for tips from my readers on how to do it beforehand. So if you have any tips for me, I’d love for you to post them below. Think of it as passing down the wisdom you wish you had when you were a young’un. Because I pretty much feel like I’m discovering my sexuality all over again. I mean, really, I am. The first time I touched breasts I was fucking terrified. I almost started crying because she put my hand on hers and I wasn’t ready to go there yet. Let’s hope going down on her goes better than that.
But regardless of these tips for myself or someone else who needs them, the only real tip on how to go down on a woman is to practice. There’s really no way around it. You can read up on all the tips you’d like and practice on an inanimate object (what exactly would you practice on anyway?) but the only way to become good at eating a woman out is by just doing it and having them tell you know what works for them and what doesn’t. How do you eat out a woman? Communication.
My first time with a man stood somewhere between drunken teenager debauchery and non-consensual sex. It took place on a twin bed the day I turned seventeen, while my friends partied in the basement. One of them came to check on me, and to her surprise, caught me in a compromising position in my birthday suit with the host of the party – the guy I had started dating two weeks ago. It wasn’t the beautiful experience I had hoped for nor had been told it should be. And years later after realizing I’m bisexual and having my first time with a woman, I admit it wasn’t a beautiful love-making-type scenario either. We didn’t light candles or cry together – but I was much more present and ready at 24, turning this first experience into a much more enjoyable one than the last. Plus, she was way better in bed than the first guy – and many of them after him.
You might be wondering how a woman can be a better lover than a man, or even how women have sex together. Well to start, I can’t even tell you how much I’m laughing inside about the myth that sex requires a penis. Before that experience I understood women used their tongues and fingers and sometimes toys, but I secretly wondered how this would compare to the assortment of dicks I’ve fucked for years. It turns out, you don’t need fingers, tongues or toys to have sex.
It wasn’t until we held hands in bed and talked for hours that I realized I experienced more intimacy with this woman than with most of the men I’ve been with – not necessarily because she’s a woman, but because of the place I’m at in my life and the type of connection we have. And I would come to learn that my understanding of sex had long been flawed and that it wasn’t as black and white as I’d been taught.
Sex can be defined differently by every woman. You could say if there’s penetration – a.k.a fingering – it’s sex, but then if you defined sex with women as fingering wouldn’t it be the same with men? I had oral sex before I had penetrative sex with a man, and I didn’t consider that my first time. So what exactly defines sex with a woman?
While some people may choose the more scientific definition of sex as their first time, I believe my first time with a woman was when we shared an intimate connection along with penetration. Everything after that experience, including fucking without intimacy, can be considered sex. But the times before when I was fingered by women I was casually dating didn’t feel like my first time – they just felt like fooling around, similar to my first sexual encounters with men. Nothing I had done with a woman before compared to the first time she fucked me. Or the time I fucked her. And especially the time we got each other off by simply grinding. Since this was all in the same day, I’m going to consider all these times part of my first time with a woman. And I have to say, the last part was better than many times I’d had sex with men in general.
Before my first time with this woman, she told me one experience of hers made her declare, “who needs men?” And while she’s a lesbian and I feel like I’m equally attracted to men and women, I can definitely see her point. Men are taught that when they orgasm sex is over – but women can keep going until they’re ready to stop.
I found myself hanging onto old ideas from past experiences with men while being intimate with her, such as feeling pressure to orgasm quickly or just generally feeling guilty about her going down on me. I’m not going to say all men hate going down on women, but it’s been my experience that it’s not their favourite thing to do and that many of them do a shit job at it. I was shocked when she told me she could stay down there all day.
Anyone who says women can’t enjoy sex with other women as much as with men truly would have to be anyone other than women who love women. Maybe it’s because we’re more comfortable with our bodies and know what each other wants, but I can even get myself off better after that experience. She said the same thing happened to her after being with women. Before that I never really fingered myself. Growing up straight and accustomed to penises and vibrators, it’s surprising to learn you can do the same thing men do to you with your own fingers.
Having my first time with a woman wasn’t just an intimate experience with the person I’m dating – it helped me to become more satisfied with my own body and sexuality. Before that, the only female body I had touched was my own, and I was terrified to touch another female’s parts even though I have the same ones. I realized that I really love being with women and that even though I love men just the same, there’s something so powerful about being intimate with a woman that’s truly different than being with a man.
So to reiterate, the myth that sex requires a penis, or even penetration, died when I had the most intense orgasm from simply grinding another woman. I’m more than satisfied with being in a sexual relationship with her, and I look forward to all the different ways we can have sex in the future
Last week I finally met the woman I’ve been talking to for a month. We originally met on Plenty of Fish, moving from messaging there to Facebook messaging and finally to texting. When the time was right to meet in person, not only was I nervous to go on a date with another woman, but I was nervous to go on a date with the woman I spilled a large chapter of my life-story to without even hearing her voice. I thought about kissing her before even seeing her face, and I wondered if we would have as much chemistry in person as we did online.
When I say talking for a month, I don’t mean the polite, light chit-chat you typically do when first getting to know someone. Even on Plenty of Fish we immediately surpassed the small talk and soon dove into deeper topics on Facebook. Even online I could tell she was incredibly understanding and that we had numerous things in common. It’s rare I have just as good conversations with someone over text that I do in person because most people don’t like typing their thoughts as much as I do – and this is definitely something I look for in a partner that causes me to want to stick around.
Meeting in person was a bit awkward first off, and our conversation didn’t flow as well as it did online. But as the night progressed we became more comfortable with each other. There’s no better way to get to know someone than just diving into who they really are rather than learning the minor details. Although when we met again we talked for hours, and she said she should probably know what my middle name and favourite colour was by that point.
I feel like I can completely open up to this woman and know that she’ll not only be understanding but be supportive – which isn’t something I’ve ever had from anyone in my life before. And that scares me. Because as happy as she makes me, the other morning I couldn’t shake the anxiety that dating her would ruin my creativity.
The last time I was in a relationship was a few years ago when I was starting my sex/dating column. My partner had expressed concern for me writing about him, and the whole time we were together I felt creatively oppressed – either guilty that I was writing about him or guilty that I was going against the voice inside my head that urged me to publish my experiences. I felt stuck in a place where I was happy being in a relationship but miserable when it came to writing about it – one of my favourite things to do. I vowed never to compromise my writing for another person again, unless it would endanger them. And this made me feel like as long as I wrote a sex/dating column I couldn’t have a relationship.
Not only was I stressed about the effect writing about a partner would have on the relationship, but the effect it would have on my writing. Worrying about what your partner thinks of your writing is creative suicide and just generally provides a boring read.
But the woman I’m seeing is an artist who not only understands my need to write about my experiences but pushes me outside my boundaries. She wants to start an art project together, and she also wants to contribute to my magazine. And on top of that, she told me she isn’t going to read my writing unless I decide to share it with her and has also expressed that the idea of someone holding me back creatively made her incredibly angry.
In the past, I’ve pushed people away because I was scared that by being myself they would leave me. But I’ve told her everything that could possibly make her walk, such as having PMDD and a sex addiction, and she’s still here and then some. For the first time in my life I feel like I can truly be myself around someone – and this takes away the feeling of fleeing I’ve had in past relationships. I no longer feel like in order to be happy while dating someone I have to sacrifice my art, and I can’t even tell you how good that makes me feel.
This woman has shown me that I don’t have to be alone to be at my full creative potential. And it’s the best gift anyone has ever given me.
My sex addiction is going to be made public in a UK Magazine. While I’ve already published an article on XO Jane about it, this is the first time I’m not going to be the one penning the story of my sex life. It was both flattering and frightening to be on the other side of the interview, and while I have faith the article will be in good taste, the fact that my story has grown from a North American website to a UK glossy weekly is evidence enough that people I’m dating can find out more about me from Googling me than I write a sex/dating column. While I’ve always been a little worried about someone I’m seeing reading about me on the internet, the more I’m published the more I realize I’m going to have to be upfront with people when pursuing something with them – if not just for the fact that their friends could be the first to tell them.
I remember when I started seeing this woman who brought me out to a gay event with her friends. When she left to go to the washroom, one of her besties started telling me about how everyone at the table Googled me and read all about my past dating experiences, but that they didn’t tell her. Through the buzz of a few cocktails, it was a little mortifying since I hadn’t even told her I was bisexual yet, not to mention that I wrote a sex/dating column. So while I’m stoked Grazia is publishing this piece on me and my story can help other women who might be experiencing what I’ve been through, I’m not excited to have to explain why I’m being featured in a UK magazine to the woman I’ve recently started seeing.
Seeing is a loose term – we’ve been texting for about a month and are finally meeting up after many deep conversations that I’ve never had with anyone else. And through the anxiety I already have about a) sitting face to face with someone I’m attracted to who might be disappointed I’m not as awesome as I appear on the internet, and b) not having that much experience dating women and having no idea what I’m doing, the fear of her asking me why I’m being featured in Grazia hangs over my head. The knowledge that I need to tell her before I go quiet during drinks and leave to go to the bathroom for some air due to the overwhelming feeling of wanting to kiss her and being afraid of being intimate is there in the back of my mind. The worry that when I tell her she’s going to think I’m this person who has countless casual sex and cheats on my partners is front and center. I know I need to explain that I grew up not feeling loved, have had mostly monogamous partners and realized I had a problem with intimacy when I tried to be single, and that I use sex just like a drug to fill this void inside, but that I’m working every day to be a happier, healthier person. I just don’t know how or when to do it.
So in case you’ve stumbled on this post because you’re wondering how to break the news to the person you’re dating that you have a sex addiction, I’ve come up with 4 ways to rip the bandaid off and hope for the best in telling your potential partner.
Just do it.
Dating is a way to weed out who’s right for you and who’s not. The person you’re seeing should be understanding and supportive of you, and even if they don’t respond well right away, if they really like you they’ll come around and be that understanding and supportive person you need. They won’t shame you for your past and guilt you in your present. And if they do, you’ll know they aren’t the person you should be with.
Tell them quickly.
I spent the summer being mentored by someone who was in a polyamorous relationship. He taught me that it’s important to tell the person you’re dating up front about what they need to know. This rule applies to sex addiction too. It’s definitely tempting to want to keep this bit of information from them – especially if you’re doing better – but the stress of keeping it from them is the worst thing you can do for both of you. The more you spend time with them without them knowing about your addiction, the more you risk a possible relapse.
Tell them in person.
Unless you want them to Google ‘sex addiction’ and come up with theories about what it means for them on their own, telling them in person is the best way to go about it. Not only is it good that they see your face when you tell them so they don’t misread your tone through text or feel disconnected through the phone, but you can show them that you’re a normal person while explaining to them what it means for you to be a sex addict.
Let them help you.
The number one reason people with sex addictions relapse is because they don’t feel safe and want to feel comforted by someone. But if the person you’re seeing knows what to expect and what you’re feeling when you feel it, they can be there to support you emotionally rather than you looking for intimacy through sex with them or possibly someone else. I’ve been in this position before, and just talking about my feelings made me feel so much better.
Unless you’re like me and your sex life is all over the internet (and soon to be print), telling the person you’re dating won’t be the end of the world. won’t have to worry about their friends or family members reading about it and discussing it with them. But you do need to tell them. They need to know when to be supportive of you, and you need to know they’re there for you when you need it. I don’t know how telling the woman I’m seeing is going to play out, but if she’s as understanding as she’s been so far then I know I have nothing to worry about. And if she’s not, then I know it’s not a right fit.
Last week I went to a talk at the University of British Columbia with Jarrah Hodge, the founder of Gender Focus. She was on the panel to discuss rape culture, a feminist concept that links rape and sexual violence to the culture of a society. People both like and dislike the term, but the fact is that the media portrays sexual violence in a way that normalizes it. Things we mentioned in the talk were advertising campaigns where women are used as sexual objects, and of course music videos such as Robin Thicke’s Blurred Lines – which in the lyrics, suggests that the lines of consent are blurred. The talk was to help people understand that these lines, in fact, are not. There were even pamphlets with information on exactly what consent was and the panel was available for questions to clear up any confusion.
I was pleasantly surprised to see a mixed-gendered crowd in the bar, as well as so many men who were genuinely interested in gaining knowledge about being a more educated and understanding human being in their dating life. Rape culture is just as apparent as ever, and just like photoshop, the first step to abolishing it is to recognize that it’s wrong. We can do this by becoming aware of how our brains have learned to ignore the messages in the media that women are sexual objects and to change our actions in how we treat women in real life – and a lot of the time this involves men learning how to empathetically take up space around women to help them feel more comfortable in a society that makes them scared to walk alone at night. As a woman who has been taken advantage of a few times but was confused about the lines of consent to even know it at the time, I know that men must be just as confused as well.
Rape or sexual violence happens more frequently by people who are close to the victims than strangers the victims met once. Of course it has to be noted that there are many creeps shouting obscenities in broad daylight and following us in their cars at night – but a lot of the time we’re hurt by men who choose to ignore or simply don’t understand what consent actually means. It’s easy to say that these men are assholes, and many of them very well are, but many of them are also victims of poor sexual education in society. I don’t mean the kind where you learn how to put a condom on a banana, but where you learn the body language of your partner. Even if a woman isn’t shouting no, it doesn’t mean she’s saying yes. And this is why so many men were coming up after the talk to ask questions about how they can be sure they’re reading their partners correctly in bed.
To help out those men who weren’t at the talk, here are 5 things you need to know to make sure you have your partner’s best interests in mind.
1. Let’s start by getting consent out of the way. Consent is defined as an enthusiastic and freely given “yes” to any given sexual activity. While I’m not going to get into legalities, basically what you need to know is that your partner is enjoying herself. Check in every so often to make sure she’s still enjoying herself – ask her if she likes what you’re doing. Once you’re familiar with your partner, you’ll understand her body language without her having to give you a verbal “yes.” That means if you’re into kink such as sub/dom play and you’re the dom, you’ll know things are going well and you’re not crossing the line. However, it’s always smart to have a code word for stopping, like “red.”
2. What isn’t consent? As mentioned above, she doesn’t have to say “no” for you to cross the line into sexual assault or rape. Signs she isn’t into it are if she’s moving away, saying she’s tired or just saying no. A lot of guys think they can keep going until the woman will say yes, but in this situation women tend to go along with it because we feel like it’s the only option until you’ll leave us alone. Things like using pleading, guilt and lying to get in a woman’s pants are all crossing the line. Just because she lets you have sex with her doesn’t mean she wants to be having sex with you. And wouldn’t you rather her be enjoying herself than her just letting you use her body?
3. What if she’s under the influence? That’s a tough call. If you’ve been with your partner for a while and have been intimate together, you should understand her body language and when she’s interested and when she’s not. The best way to make sure you aren’t crossing the line with a new partner who’s under the influence is to talk to her about it before the situation happens. I would also suggest not having her first time with you be at a party while drunk/high, even if she seems into it. This lets her fully enjoy and remember her experience with you and saves you the scare of going to jail.
4. Be mindful of how you take up space near women. We’re taught by our mothers and society to be scared while walking alone at night, and then we become even more scared after experiences of being cat called by drunken college guys or horny construction workers. If you’re a good guy who doesn’t treat women like objects, remember that we don’t know that you are and will have our guard up around you. If you’re going for a late night run or walking behind us, remember to keep a good distance or call out “don’t worry I’m passing you” to help us feel more at ease. And keep this in mind when you’re towering over a woman and trying to get into her pants.
5. Share this article. Rape culture doesn’t give men any help, and the tips in this article that should be common knowledge just simply aren’t. Men can educate each other to be better men. Learning how to be more compassionate towards women won’t just keep you out of jail for not understanding what consent is – it’ll get you better sex. There’s nothing women find sexier than a man who respects her enough so that she’s enjoying herself. Whether it’s an eager “yes” or the body language that she’s into it, sex is so much better when the woman really wants it.
I’ve written before about the etiquette for being friends with benefits, and in conclusion I’ve found the best way to go about it is to let the other person lead. If you’re hanging out as friends and they kiss you, you’re free to move to benefits. When you go your separate ways after being intimate, you can totally kiss them goodbye. And the next time you see them, start fresh as friends and see where it leads. The hardest part is keeping your feelings in check 24 hours after you’ve been intimate with them, because no matter how rational you are in knowing you’re not in a monogamous romantic relationship, you’re still going to feel something for a friend who you’ve had sex with.
This morning I woke up in the 19 year old’s bed after a night of watching movies, and as I was getting dressed I found a women’s sweater on the ground that wasn’t mine. At first I assumed it was his mother’s, but then I thought it was probably his ex-girlfriend’s who he recently broke up with and hasn’t seen since. And then it crossed my mind that he might be sleeping with someone else. It might have been that I was too tired to give a shit, but I surprised myself with how calm I was – especially since I have a history of jumping to conclusions and reacting emotionally in situations such as this.
Since he was leaving the house for work, it wasn’t exactly the best time to have the can-we-see-other-people conversation, so I just told him I found a sweater and put it on his bed and he said, “okay, thanks” really cool-like. Since we’re using protection, it wasn’t really any of my business whose sweater it was – but I’m a curious person, and just like anybody else I obviously enjoy feeling like the only person someone wants to sleep with. But what it really narrows down to is that I have mixed feelings about what I want. I love being around him, but the fact is that he’s not around that much. He’s going to rehab soon and working on his drug addiction, and I’m working on my intimacy issues and mental health. I’m comfortable with the idea of polyamory and the situation we’re in. I’m not going to lie that I can be a jealous person, though. But honestly, I’m feeling a little guilty that he’s not the only one I’m dating. Is this something we need to have a conversation about?
I started talking to this woman on POF and we’ve seem to really hit it off so far. We’re going on a date this week and aside from the usual worrying about her Googling my name and reading this column before she gets to know me, I’m worried about the situation I’m in – namely, sleeping with a man and potentially a woman at the same time. I’ve done it before and I hurt someone, and someone also did it to me and hurt me. To begin with, lots of lesbians are hesitant to date bisexual women because of this situation. And I don’t want to have to choose between a man and a woman if it comes down to it. What if he gets out of rehab and decides he wants to be more than friends? What if when he gets out I’m still dating her and she wants to be monogamous? If I really liked her, that would be fine because I’d still love to just be friends with him, but I don’t want to have to break the news to him that I’m dating someone else and we have to stop sleeping together without any prior heads up. But I have to wonder if before he goes to rehab is a bad time to bring it up.
When you’re friends with benefits with someone, are you required to bring up that you’re dating someone else? Are you required to tell the new person you’re dating that you’re sleeping with someone else? I think anyone you’re being intimate with has a right to know about any potential STDs they might be exposed to. And if you’re having sex with someone, you should be mature enough to talk about the can-we-see-other-people issue and check in about your feelings. Obviously we’re both vulnerable right now and that adds to the issue. It’s only a sweater, but it opens up the door to a big conversation that needs to be had sooner rather than later. It doesn’t need to be a big deal or a long talk, but it does need to be done. The only thing standing in the way is the potential for people to react emotionally and irrationally – but so far we’ve both been able to talk really openly to each other, and any potential partners I have in the future will hopefully be just as open.
What are your thoughts on being friends with benefits with someone and seeing other people? Post in the comments below.